I Don't Think That Made Sense
by Sweet but Psycho
Summary: Have you ever noticed that some of the things that happen or are said just...don't make sense? I thought it was about time someone pointed out all of the anti-physics moments in our favourite show.  T for mild swearing. Meant to be humorous.
1. Erosion

**A/N: Ok, so I had this idea as I was watching a few reruns, and I noticed some of the things that the characters said… well, they made no sense. In fact, some of the so called 'facts' they based their dialogue on seemed to be completely backwards. So I thought I'd make a fic about it. I'll only update as I notice these flubs, so updates will be very scattered. Oh, and I will paraphrase what some of the characters said, since I can't remember exactly. Feel free to PM/review me observations of your own. And this is my first time using canon characters, so be nice. This takes place during Team Galactic's episode when Saturn and Charon are looking for Spear Pillar. I even remember the episodes name! "Gateway to Ruin". I know my TG! Hopefully I got Saturn right, I don't want to abuse such an amazing character.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own pokemon or any characters found within this story. In fact, I don't think I really even own this plot, since there isn't really one here. I guess I own this idea?**

Saturn was not having a good day. He had been traipsing around on increasing worn out shoes through some Arceus forsaken mountain with what was probably the most obnoxious, insubordinate, _idiotic_ so-called scientist in existence looking for ruins that he was becoming sure didn't exist. Why did _he _have to be the one in charge of excavating Mt. Coronet? Mars was the one that screwed up the Iron Island mission; shouldn't she be the one bursting into ruin after ruin after ruin, over and over again? Mars and Jupiter were hardly ever sent out on missions and Saturn wasn't sure whether this was his boss's way of showing favouritism or a form of punishment. Considering his current situation however, Saturn was leaning towards the latter theory. Saturn vowed after the thirteenth unsuccessful exposure of the Spear Key that he would take it upon himself one day to destroy each and every one of these ruins; to hell with what the boss says.

"These ruins are a symbol of the ancient people's desire to meet Dialga and Palkia so you should just sit tight and enjoy this little history lesson," was Charon's infuriating response after Saturn expressed his annoyance. Who cared how bad the ancient people wanted to meet the space-time deities, wouldn't one ruin express that desire sufficiently enough? Or better yet, why didn't they get off their asses and look for Spear Pillar themselves if they wanted to meet Dialga and Palkia that bad, instead of leaving a shitload of false gateways to annoy whoever might actually want to find the real Spear Pillar. Then there would just be the one ruin to find.

Finally after hours of digging, searching, crashing through rocks and a rather unpleasant visit from three troublemaking children and a somewhat disconcerting realization that there was a cop among Team Galactic, Charon proclaimed to have found the authentic Spear Pillar. Finally!

"Toxicroak, use Rock Smash!" Saturn would have jumped with joy if his dignity hadn't held him back. He made sure to keep his cool demeanour, even while talking to the three Team Rocket losers. Charon made a big show of exposing the Spear Key and…

Nothing.

_That was it!_ Saturn had had quite enough of this nonsense for one day; he wanted at the very least a good meal and a long sleep before they returned the next day. Team Galactic pulled out for the day and everyone piled into the helicopter, exhaustion almost a tangible aura in the air. Charon seemed to be the only one immune to it. Saturn looked down at the fading mountain and noticed with mild surprise that there were massive amounts of water flooding out of their tunnels. He assumed it was because of Toxicroak's multiple Rock Smashes causing a collapse and blocking the water's exit to the other side of the mountain. He felt relief that he had decided to pull out when he did, and had even begun to hope that the three brats and the cop would be drowned in all that water. However, just when this thought crossed his mind he noticed a slight dot flowing out of one of the tunnels on the water's flow. Saturn asked one of the grunts to focus in on the dot with the exterior camera once it had stopped at the edge of the river, and distinctly saw the four figures getting out of an inflatable raft. Really? Who the hell carries an inflatable raft around with them? How often could that possibly come in useful? Saturn felt the brief hope he felt be sucked out of him to be replaced with the annoyance that was oh so familiar in the presence of Charon.

"Oh, how convenient! The flow of the water seemed to have sealed our previous tunnels," exclaimed Charon, pointing out the magically sealed tunnels.

"Excuse me?" Was Saturn's only response, looking at the tunnels in mild confusion. Charon was at least partially right; every single one of the tunnels had been sealed with what appeared to be gravel, and this was apparently enough to redirect the pressure of the water to break through its original opening. Saturn wasn't big on natural sciences, but he was pretty sure that tunnels couldn't seal so fast and so thoroughly through just water flow. However, Charon was kind enough to explain the entire situation to Saturn.

"You see, as water flows it creates friction with the walls of the tunnels, and thus the tunnels start to erode, erosion being of course the process of something being grinded down due to a constant friction against it. Now, erosion is a very rapid process, and the water pushing against the sides of the tunnel caused them to begin to shrink, and soon seal up. It's all very simple, really."

Saturn said nothing. He simply made a mental note to be more subtle tomorrow so as to avoid attracting attention. The last thing he needed was for Rangers to come pouring in whining about how they were damaging the environment.

**Haha yeah. When Dawn pointed out the tunnels had been sealed I was just kina like 'what? But…how? And why aren't Rangers storming in to stop them from trashing the mountain? Rangers are supposed to protect the environment!'**

**Please review, I only have 2 ideas, and I wanna update this a lot.**


	2. Friction

**A/N Ok, this is my second observation. And I've set Ash up as my character because I'm kinda predicting that he'll be saying most of the stupid remarks. No offence to Ash lovers out there, but you gotta admit, he doesn't think before he speaks. Oh, and this takes place during that episode when Buizel is trying to learn Ice Punch. Oooooo, can you predict were this is going?**

** Disclaimer: Pokemon=not mine= :'(**

_SPLASH!_

"Try again Buizel!" Ash encouraged as Buizel's fist made another unsuccessful punch at the water. Buizel nodded seriously, he was determined to win a rematch against that Mr. Mime. Buizel hated losing. He focused on the flowing water, punched and…

_SPLASH!_

"You're doing it all wrong!" snapped the man who insisted on referring to Buizel and Ash as 'AshBui'. Buizel found it hard to believe that a man that ridiculous could teach him something, but Ash seemed to think so, and Buizel trusted his trainer.

The man jumped over in an alarmingly ninja-like fashion and preceded to show them how Buizel _should _be punching. He drew his fist back, focused on the water, and with an almighty war cry punched the water so fast that his hand did not get wet. Buizel didn't see how that was even possible but was impressed nonetheless. Buizel was told to try and mimic this style to master Ice Punch. Again, Buizel didn't really understand the connection, but tried to mimic the speed of the man's punch anyway. He pulled a fist back and focused all of his energy into that one punch.

_SPLASH!_

Well that was frustrating. Buizel simply could not try any harder, so he didn't see how this was going to progress. But, somehow, after a few more tries when he pulled his fist back from the water there was a small patch of ice clinging to it, albeit in a somewhat uncomfortable manner.

Ash took a hold of his arm in an uncharacteristically gentle and almost motherly fashion and examined the patch of ice.

"Buizel, that's amazing! The speed of your punch must have cooled your fist down enough to cause the water to freeze on it," Ash exclaimed excitedly. Buizel, though pleased with the progress, was once again left confused by the words and actions of the humans around him.

Buizel knew next to nothing about science, but he did know that when you rub two things together they get warm, not cold. That's what happened when you rubbed your hands together to warm them up, or when you struck a match, or when they were watching T.V. and a program on rockets came on. The rocket ship was rubbing against the air, so it got hot. It was fire that enveloped the rocket, not ice. If his fist was really moving that fast why did it get cold when he was punching? He understood that wind was cold, but there was no way that split second of wind could cool his fist down enough to freeze water so quickly. And yet, that small patch of ice rested against the back of his hand, proving all his logic wrong simply by existing.

"Come on Buizel, let's do some special training!" Ash yelled. Buizel nodded enthusiastically. This, he understood.

**A/N I suppose the directors expected us to assume that since Buizel is a water type he can't learn Fire Punch so it defaulted to Ice Punch? I don't know, that little phrase didn't quite sit right with me. Anyway, review pretty please, and I'll keep my eyes peeled for more no sense moments. **


End file.
